We live in the age of Instagram filters and many times we tend to think that other people’s lives are much better than ours. But the reality is that no couple is free of problems. In many cases, if they do not confront and there is no good communication between both parties, this can lead to a major conflict, such as infidelity.
It is not a rarity for this to occur. According to last year’s General Social Survey , 20% of men and 13% of women reported having had intimate relationships with other people than their spouses while they were married. The reasons are the most varied: the boredom that a long-term relationship can offer, the lack of affection or perhaps neither of these, but one of the two has met another person who has undermined their life and their feelings . It was just a physical relationship. I’ve considered parting ways, but my home life isn’t bad, we don’t even argue anymore But in most cases, adultery is still the symptom of a much larger problem involving both of you. Ultimately, we all look for something different when routine and custom have prevailed and it seems that love is over. The magazine ‘ Fatherly ‘ has collected five testimonies of real women who cheated on their husbands to learn about why they did it. And yes, in any case, to prevent it from happening to you too.
“He was a mere roommate”
“The first lover I had I did not look for.” Thus begins the story of Anna , a 36-year-old woman from the state of Illinois. “I wasn’t looking for an adventure at all. That wasn’t my intention, it just happened spontaneously. He lived in another country and we had never seen each other face to face . He was single. At first it consisted of a cybernetic friendship that it soon came to mean something else. ” At eight months, they decided to meet in person. And then it happened. “I consider my husband as a mere roommate, we are no longer a married couple.” Thinking of getting divorced? Absolutely. “It was just a physical relationship. I’ve considered breaking up, but my home life isn’t bad, we don’t even argue anymore.”
“He became a very negative person”
The story of Wanda, 50, is more than complicated. Mother of three children and one of them with autism, her husband went through a phase of depression. It’s when she suddenly met a lover . “I never had the intention, but things happen,” he relates. “I didn’t feel guilty as it saved me. I was devastated. My husband found out by looking at my phone. So my therapist recommended that I confess to help us both move forward.”
Photo: Frame from the film ‘Eyes Wide Shut’.
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“They were tough times,” admits Wanda. “In the end, I opted to stop the process and go to therapy. Now, three years later, things are going well between us . My husband has trusted me again and we both work hard to keep the relationship going.”
“He became very controlling”
One of the traits that lead to infidelity is a lack of trust enough that one of the two is constantly suspicious of the other and then becomes too controlling. “Shortly after we were married, he became very jealous. He did not want her to talk to any man or to go out to dinner with friends,” says 48-year-old Tegan. “At the age of eight, I fell in love with a co-worker. Our marriage was broken. The adventure gave me the courage to feel more secure and face the divorce,” she says.
“Every day that passed he got farther away and I had to carry everything. One day I thought:” This man can’t hold me prisoner all my life. ” “I don’t regret it,” considers the woman. “Although after divorcing I did not go out with the boy I had the affair with , I stayed single and so comfortable. I am happy that I am no longer married. I don’t think anything would have changed, maybe the only thing that had to be The fact was that I ended the marriage much earlier, but I was worried about my children.
“I had to take care of everything”
“I looked at myself in the mirror and with each passing day I grew older and older,” confesses Tami, 61. “My husband at that time had problems with work and also mental disorders. Every day that passed he moved further away and left all the problems to me. I got to the point of feeling that I could handle everything: the bills, the house … I was proud of myself, but one day I got up, looked at him and thought: ‘This man can’t hold me captive all my life.’ Then I discovered that there was surely someone out there who wanted to be with me, I felt attractive again I started dating others. Soon we got divorced. I spoke with him before about the possibility of having an open marriage, but he disagreed, so we parted ways.
“He became a different person”
The case of Jean, 58 , is quite different from the rest, and his infidelity has a reason beyond his marital problems. In this case, it is health that curtailed her love life. “My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, ” she says. “He became a totally different person. I contracted a deep depression, as there was no one else around me to help me with the situation. At some point I should find a way out, and that’s when I signed up for the service of Ashley Madison and I started going on dates. It was fun. Then I met someone special and now we’ve been together for over a year. I don’t date anyone else anymore, and I can say that he has been very supportive with my husband’s illness. “
Photo: Photo: ‘Grey’s Anatomy’.
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Fortunately, Jean’s story ends well. “Now, I can take care of my husband in a better way, since I feel good mentally,” she concludes. “He no longer lives with me because he reached a point where it was impossible to keep him at home, but he is in the same city and I visit and watch him all the time. He has no memory completely. I tell him something and after five minutes he no longer remembers it. His illness caused me to lose him and with him, the life we had in common. The moment came when I knew that I would not return and that I was not going to get better. It took me a long time to accept it, but now I am fine. “